Humor

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 1,586
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A woman answered her doorbell

A woman answered her doorbell and found a policeman standing there. He said, "Ma'am, I have good news and bad news. And, also some more good news."

She cried, "Oh dear! I guess I'd better have the bad news first."

The officer said, "I'm very sorry to bring you this news, but your husband drowned today in a scuba diving accident."

She wailed, "Oh, how horrible!" She took a moment to compose herself, and then asked, "What's the good news?"

The cop said, "When we pulled him up, he had 12 or 13 big lobsters clinging to him, and we had a big seafood feast down at the police station!"

She said, "Oh, I see. But what is the other good news?"

He answered, "We're going to pull him up again tomorrow!"

Richard

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
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Kavanagh wrote: He answered,

Kavanagh wrote:

He answered, "We're going to pull him up again tomorrow!"

After that I suppose the Wife was "crabby"?

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
RAC: 2,348,373

Enjoy the best of

Enjoy the best of both!

 

 

Asthma and Allergies.

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 1,586
Credit: 100,560,238
RAC: 9,623

For my age I have a lot going

For my age I have a lot going for me…
My eyes are going, my knees are going, my back is going!

Richard

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
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Kavanagh wrote:For my age I

Kavanagh wrote:

For my age I have a lot going for me…
My eyes are going, my knees are going, my back is going!

Going, going, Gone!

 

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
RAC: 2,348,373

Kavanagh wrote: Follow me

Kavanagh wrote:

Follow me for more marriage tips!

Did the Fall produce any more marriage tips?

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
RAC: 2,348,373

How is a newspaper carrier

How is a newspaper carrier like a "man of letters"?

 

 

 

Both "engage in a literary pursuit".

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
RAC: 2,348,373

When do Chefs sing "Home on

When do Chefs sing "Home on the Range"?

 

 

When they are pan frying something on the stove.

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
RAC: 2,348,373

What would you call a

What would you call a Scottish chain restaurant that specialized in frying Lamb in stead of hamburger (McDonalds).

 

 

Mac Symon ( common Scottish name).

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 5,629
Credit: 7,714,977,218
RAC: 2,348,373

I couldn't think of a

I couldn't think of a original pun 

 

 

 

So I looked one up on the Internet?

 

 

Original.

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

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