TLPTPW - Throne edition

mikey
mikey
Joined: 22 Jan 05
Posts: 12828
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RE: No disrespect intended

Quote:

No disrespect intended Annie, but aren't you one of those accident prone people ? You know, the epic legendary type that shames mere ineptitude or raw probability ? The sort that statistically soars around the neighborhood of seventeen plus standard deviations above the norm ? The variant that holidays in a village which then subsequently has consecutive once-in-a-century floods for each day of the entire week that you stayed, and that despite being hundreds of kilometers from any natural watercourse ? I'm just sayin' .... :-)

Cheers, Mike.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

RE: When I'm underground

Quote:
When I'm underground quietly minding my own business


.... The tube train drives off with my shoe stuck between the doors, never to be seen again ....

Oh sorry everyone, I went into Annie mode there for a moment. Ummmm, one could say that planks with nails in them breed prolificly in garden sheds wherever Annie happens to live. One could also ponder why the only exploding footway junction box in the whole of the GLA happens to be in her intended perambulation route. The contents of her cellar are legendary and still perplex the BT MIA list to this day.

No, not accident "prone", more accident standing up I think :-)))

But a nicer victim of lifes circumstances and foibles* you couldn't wish to meet. And isn't it grand to see her back here? YES!!

* She went into Foibles book shop in Charing Cross Road one day but they were out of stock of "Am I accident prone?" by Eileen Dover. The author that wrote Cliff Tragedy.

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

anniet
anniet
Joined: 6 Feb 14
Posts: 1348
Credit: 5079314
RAC: 0

RE: No disrespect intended

Quote:

No disrespect intended Annie, but aren't you one of those accident prone people ? You know, the epic legendary type that shames mere ineptitude or raw probability ? The sort that statistically soars around the neighborhood of seventeen plus standard deviations above the norm ? The variant that holidays in a village which then subsequently has consecutive once-in-a-century floods for each day of the entire week that you stayed, and that despite being hundreds of kilometers from any natural watercourse ? I'm just sayin' .... :-)

Cheers, Mike.

*tilt nose disdainfully* Doesn't mean I should expect to be blown to smithereens though does it. Just for my timing.

*wither half the planet with one blink*

Take that lawnmower for instance. That wasn't my accident. The protea bush I sank through was my accident. There was nothing wrong with the lawnmower the last time I'd used it. It was when my mother mowed down the granadilla vine, careered through my watermelons and fell down the hole she forgot my sister and I had dug to make a pond in (we get a lot of good ideas like that when we're together) she got a bit mad, then stomped off and screeched away for a relaxing drive - leaving behind a surprisingly small section of lawn actually mowed, but a considerable number of beds.

It was to say sorry for the hole that I decided to finish what she'd started. I didn't know that she'd also mown the cord, and stuck the two ends together with sellotape until after I'd rounded the rockery, got draped over vegetation and began emitting wisps of smoke.

"say hi to Mikey rolling about the floor"

@Chris: It's odd you should mention getting things stuck in tube doors. The week before last, I almost got stuck again. It was different in that this time, the bulk of me was inside the train, and not outside, it wasn't a tube, and I didn't lose any items of clothing, which was nice.

I think the real problem is that I'm too... observant... but not in the right places

:)

...and there might be some genetics in the mix... somewhere...

Please wait here. Further instructions could pile up at any time. Thank you.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

Sellotape? My dear girl, to

Sellotape? My dear girl, to do a proper job, every household should have the simple toolkit consisting of two items.

If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD40.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

But in your case I think we can add a few extra useful items

First aid kit
AED defibrillator
Smoke alarm
Nail puller
Dust mask
Spade (for digging ponds)
Potato masher

The problem is that we'll need a garden shed to keep it all in, but they are full of breeding pairs of planks in the Spring.

*flash of inspiration - pingggggg* You could dig a hole in the ground and store it all there! *blinks at the sheer magnificence of the idea* Er weren't we here before somewhere??? I'll be behind the settee if you need me ...

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Gary Charpentier
Gary Charpentier
Joined: 13 Jun 06
Posts: 2092
Credit: 107898508
RAC: 18883

Notices the settee isn't

Notices the settee isn't flush against the wall, makes it so.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6591
Credit: 325479808
RAC: 70553

Oh. I thought "shames mere

Oh. I thought "shames mere ineptitude" was quite good. Yet another Zinger From DownUnda. Sigh ..... :-)

Northern hemisphere contributors will take note of the courage that may be reaped from vast separation. As an ancient Greek philosopher* once said :

Quote:
I think, therefore I am safely distant


In any event you have revealed all Annie. You suffer from a clear case of recalcitrant genetics.

Cheers, Mike.

* Historians know him as Fragmentus Groundzerosus Epicentarian, his contemporaries as 'that weird guy who is always alight'.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6591
Credit: 325479808
RAC: 70553

A weasel walks into a bar and

A weasel walks into a bar and orders a Harvey Wallbanger.

The bartender is hesitant and says "so that's vodka, Galliano and orange juice. Right ? "

The weasel replies "it's vodka, Galvani and orange juice. Charge it to my Amex please."

boom .... boom .... that took a whole five minutes to come up with .....

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Dr Bacon (Ship My Plants Department)
Dr Bacon (Ship ...
Joined: 22 Oct 08
Posts: 434
Credit: 20037564
RAC: 350

Wayhay! *awards Mike ten

Wayhay! *awards Mike ten internets* :)


Annie minion :)

 

 

Einstein@Home Verified Contributor (I think?) 

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6591
Credit: 325479808
RAC: 70553

RE: Wayhay! *awards Mike

Quote:
Wayhay! *awards Mike ten internets* :)


Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll be here until the weekend....

Maybe that should be :

"A weasel walks into a Swiss bar .... "

".... then moves it out of the way so that no one will trip over it"

Bloody Toblerone!

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

mikey
mikey
Joined: 22 Jan 05
Posts: 12828
Credit: 1882988890
RAC: 1101890

Good morning everyone, my

Good morning everyone, my brand new tomato plants are soooo soggy right now even the squirrels aren't digging in them!! It's been raining almost every day for a week and it's already rained this morning!! I use a rain barrel that is also on my deck to keep everything watered when they need it. I grow my tomatoes on my deck in plastic planters resembling half whiskey barrels, I have 6 plants in now with 6 more on the way, I have a total of 6 planters. I only grow cherry tomatoes and eat them as snacks both right from the plants and then afterwards once they are chilled in the fridge. I also grow a VERY HOT hot pepper, about 500k on the hot pepper Scoville scale, they look alot like the tomatoes I grow and I put them at the top of the steps to my deck. The squirrels, well most of them anyway, stop there and decide that they are waaaay too hot to eat and usually turn around and leave. A few more adventurous run up the railing and bypass the hot peppers and go right for the tomatoes, they get shot at with my airsoft gun that is battery powered, meaning it doesn't have enough power to hurt them even when it does hit them. BUT it does scare them half to death when I start shooting at them, and continue shooting as they run away. They are very good jumpers and I have to keep pruning the tree branches further and further away from my deck so they have no easy exit once I start shooting at them. Yesterday once kinda sorta bounced off the ground as he didn't quite make the branches, he was a VERY fat squirrel!! He got up and ran off as fast as his stubby legs would take him, with me continuing to hit the ground around him with the airsoft pellets, hopefully learning his lesson and never coming back!!

I use a cheap battery powered airsoft pistol and they are notoriously inaccurate beyond about 4 meters, so hitting a moving object is near impossible, except when I get lucky. When I do hit one they usually jump up into the air as if to say 'what the heck was that?' and then they run off. I did have one just sit there a few days ago and even after hitting him twice he STILL just sat there scratching himself where the plastic pellets hit him, I emptied 4 more 16 round clips at him on full auto mode before he finally ran off. Needless to say out of those 4 clips NOT ONE pellet hit him!!! The pellets are mass produced round balls and the barrels have zero rifling in them, you can see the pellets turn and dive as you shoot them, it's no wonder the squirrels rarely get hit!! But the idea is to 'teach' them that my deck and yard is NOT their private buffet and to dine elsewhere, not to actually reduce the population. Most seem to learn pretty quickly, a few take a bit longer and one or two need some extra encouragement. Me running at them screaming with my arms flailing around seems to do the trick for those persistent ones!!

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