New element discovered.

adrianxw
adrianxw
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Topic 190398

Somewhat US centric, but worthwhile...

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to cience.

The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons.

Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Michael Karlinsky
Michael Karlinsky
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New element discovered.

Quote:
Somewhat US centric, but worthwhile...

Would need only slight modifications, I guess.

*ROTFL*

Michael

Michael Roycraft
Michael Roycraft
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adrianxw, Hilarious, and

adrianxw,

Hilarious, and painfully true.
Is this original on your part? If so, would you give me permission to save it and pass it along?

microcraft
"The arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice" - MLK

adrianxw
adrianxw
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It was posted on a software

It was posted on a software site I moderate. I cannot claim anything other than the thought that it might be appreciated here.

Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Wurgl (speak^Wcrunching for Special: Off-Topic)
Wurgl (speak^Wc...
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RE: It was posted on a

Message 21862 in response to message 21861

Quote:
It was posted on a software site I moderate. I cannot claim anything other than the thought that it might be appreciated here.

A nice Bush-flamer T-shirt I found in a forum these days:-)
http://www.shmater.com/antibusht-shirtcloseup.jpg

Edo
Edo
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RE: New element discovered.

Ray Murray
Ray Murray
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RE: adrianxw, Hilarious,

Message 21864 in response to message 21860

Quote:

adrianxw,

Hilarious, and painfully true.
Is this original on your part? If so, would you give me permission to save it and pass it along?

Only the first line needs to be changed for this to apply on this side of the pond as well, sadly. I hope it doesn't breach anybody's copyright if I pass it around over here.

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