You couldn't make it up

adrianxw
adrianxw
Joined: 21 Feb 05
Posts: 242
Credit: 322654862
RAC: 0

I recall The Monster Raving

I recall The Monster Raving Loony party had a problem with lookalikes a few years back, for a while they were "The OFFICIAL Monster Raving Loony Party".

Of course the other parties retained their names, but the candidates are occasionally raving loonies. We call it democracy.

Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

I've always thought I could

I've always thought I could make quite an impact as Minister for Sport, but judging from my other half's view of that, he wouldn't vote for me so *sigh*

Well that is just one of the electorate. Does your other half's vote matter that much? What if I vote for you?

but the candidates are occasionally raving loonies. We call it democracy.

Some would call it the House of Commons :-)))

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ne

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/06/23/someone-reported-queen-police-wasnt-wearing-seat-belt/

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Sir Rodney Ffing
Sir Rodney Ffing
Joined: 8 Nov 15
Posts: 165
Credit: 473102
RAC: 0

Another Royal in the

Another Royal in the headlines, Mr S? :) I regret a former prime minister involved in corruption did not provide cause for surprise over breakfast this morning, but a prince and a FIFA report too? ;-)

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6542
Credit: 287078390
RAC: 97132

Sir Rodney Ffing wrote:I

Sir Rodney Ffing wrote:
I regret a former prime minister involved in corruption did not provide cause for surprise over breakfast this morning ....

Like Australia they reserve the headlines for non-corrupt politicians, otherwise they'd never get all the news out :

AWKWARD FACTION DEAL NOT REQUIRED FOR LATEST LEGISLATION

EU CUPCAKE ICING LAWS TO BE REPEALED IN LATE NIGHT SESSION

MINISTER OF CROWN FOUND TO HAVE LEGITIMATE TRAVEL EXPENSES 

CABINET EXECUTES PRINCE CHARLES FOR LOOKING AT THEM IN A FUNNY WAY

VESTED INTEREST REGISTRY COLLAPSES UNDER WEIGHT OF HONEST STATEMENTS

CNN UK CORRESPONDENT REPORTS FACTS ONLY

ALL MEMBERS SITTING UPRIGHT WITH PALPABLE PULSES IN HOUSE OF LORDS

PARLIAMENTARY UNDER SECRETARY REVEALED TO HAVE NORMAL NOOKIE HABITS

RANDOM SWEEP OF HORSE GUARDS PARADE FINDS NO CASH STUFFED BROWN ENVELOPES

CHANCELLOR OF EXCHEQUER LUCID FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE MINUTES 

NO RUSSIAN AGENTS FEEDING DUCKS ON THAMES THIS WEEK

QUEEN SAYS "BOLLOCKS" TO POLICE WHEN INTERVIEWED

DAILY MAIL QUOTES PRIME MINISTER IN CONTEXT

SPEAKER OF LOWER HOUSE SURPRISED BY WHITE RABBIT BEARING FOB WATCH

NUNS NOT INVOLVED IN BIG BEN EMAIL SCAM

DISTILLERIES EXEMPTED FROM AIR STRIKES IN WAR AGAINST SCOTLAND

BUDGET DISASTER AFTER MUSICAL CHAIRS GOES TERRIBLY WRONG

BREATHALYZER ARRESTED IN COMMONS CAR PARK

APPLE TO LAUNCH NEXT IPHONE WITH SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT TRANSISTOR IMPEDANCE

SOME BLOKE RECKONS TRUMP'S LOVE CHILD WAS GIVEN KREMLIN POSTCARD

VISITING POPE REVEALS HE IS A CATHOLIC

GREENPEACE APPROVES OF ALCOHOL BASED ICEBERGS

CITY BROKERS ADMIT TO HEAVY LOSSES ON GHERKIN FUTURES

OFFICIAL ORDINANCE SURVEY BLAMES GIBRALTAR FOR WANDERING NORTH POLE

CONSCRIPTION ANNOUNCED FOR ALL EMPIRE MALES WITH LETTER 'S' IN SURNAME

.... you can make it up ....

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

anniet
anniet
Joined: 6 Feb 14
Posts: 1348
Credit: 5079314
RAC: 0

*SNORT*

*SNORT*

Please wait here. Further instructions could pile up at any time. Thank you.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

But it's all true your

But it's all true your Honour, every word. her next door says so, and Fred down the Fox & Hounds.

 

OFFICIAL ORDINANCE SURVEY BLAMES GIBRALTAR FOR WANDERING NORTH POLE

We told them to stop walking about up there in 1713, but would they listen?

 

CONSCRIPTION ANNOUNCED FOR ALL EMPIRE MALES WITH LETTER 'S' IN SURNAME

The Empire formally ended in 1949, with the introduction of the British commonwealth, now the Commonwealth of Nations. Therefore only those born before then are eligible. The army has also announced that it might be able to find barracks for the 17 people affected. And it has requisitioned a dozen zimmer frames.

 

QUEEN SAYS "BOLLOCKS" TO POLICE WHEN INTERVIEWED

When presented with the latest Brexit negotiation results, HM said "round objects". The Met Police Commissioner asked "Who is Round, and what does he object to?"

 

DAILY MAIL QUOTES PRIME MINISTER IN CONTEXT

It has subsequently apologised profusely for confusing its readers.

And late breaking news

GUARDIAN READER JAILED FOR SHAVING OFF GOATEE BEARD, NOT WEARING OPEN TOED SANDALS, REFUSING MUESLI, GLANCING AT THE TELEGRAPH, AND MOVING FROM NOTTING HILL

He pleaded guilty in court, because of diminished responsibility after listening to Jeremy Corbyn at Glastonbury.

 

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Sir Rodney Ffing
Sir Rodney Ffing
Joined: 8 Nov 15
Posts: 165
Credit: 473102
RAC: 0

OFFICIAL ORDINANCE SURVEY

OFFICIAL ORDINANCE SURVEY BLAMES GIBRALTAR FOR WANDERING NORTH POLE

.... you can make it up ....

:-)

 

http://charltonlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/55935/10-and-half-things-you-never-knew-about-Gibraltar

 

... now 11-and-a-half

;-)

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6542
Credit: 287078390
RAC: 97132

FWIW my favorite is

FWIW I know I wrote them but my favorites are :

DISTILLERIES EXEMPTED FROM AIR STRIKES IN WAR AGAINST SCOTLAND

CITY BROKERS ADMIT TO HEAVY LOSSES ON GHERKIN FUTURES

:-)

..... my annoying subtext here is that my cognitive method - make shit up and then repeat it - is currently no different to very many 'news' organisations. Except I'm not claiming it's true .....

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

Well in my view here is a

Well in my view here is a good one. In the UK, HD TV's have been on sale since 2009, and the latest 4K sets are here now, and even 8K promised next year. Yet all UK Regional TV studios still only have SD cameras and transmission equipment. That means in practice that you are watching the news on BBC channel 101, then as they change to the local Regional news, you have to swap to channel 1 to watch it, then back again afterwards.

Are there any plans to update the regional studios to HD - NO only vague promises.

How many of the Freeview 131 digital channels are HD - 15

Are there any transmissions planned in 4K - NO

Any 4K DVD's around - hardly any

What is the point of TV manufacturers using 21C technology when the TV and leisure industry doesn't keep pace with them. Yes OK, a new 4K set will look better on an HD transmission than an HD set will do. But the difference is not that marked.

You couldn't make it up in the UK, I dunno about  other parts of the world. Jeepers we had enough trouble going to DAB radios!!

 

 

 

 

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.