When Trump was shown around Airforce one he said, that will just about do for me and my staff, but we'll need a second one for Melania and her wardrobe.
Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)
Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now
However amusing, the veracity of the punk story is a little suspect, Sir. It may have been a fractured femur, and an inscribed cast
One submitted by a Dr.Susan Steinberg of Manitoba, Canada (edited for ease of reading)
Quote:
... when I told a wife that her husband had a massive myocardial infarct - five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had a "massive internal fart."
What wardrobe?
Handcuffed to a briefcase, and wearing an airliner.
You can always tell which doctors use dictation software. From my desk this week : "hypertrophic calf disease" was the comment on a certain cardiac investigation. As for me, I just make the usual digitally unassisted errors. I don't need a computer to help me do that ..... :-)
What next : fat lamb syndrome ? "Yes Mr Smith, you have been eating too many fat lambs. The FLSI* on your blood test says so. Try to cut down if you can. Keep the gravy load under one litre a day for that matter. Now let's look down your throat. Open wide please. Good. Say Baa ...."
Cheers, Mike.
* Fat Lamb Serum Index
( edit ) When I transitioned from medical student to junior resident hospital doctor in the mid 80's there were 'consultoids'. Those being JRMO's who dressed and acted like consultants. They talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk. Generally about two to four years post-grad. Often they would discuss what non-consultoids labelled as 'serum rhubarb' and 'urinary cardboard' ie. some arcane lab tests of doubtful clinical relevance/assistance. Years later I learned that our supervising consultants would, during their assessment of the lower pyramid staff to be reported back to the lawful licencing authority, divide us into 'workers' and 'w*nkers'. Fortunately I was placed in the first category and noted as 'clinically very solid and secure'. Which sounds like faint praise indeed, until you discover that a blood clot in any major heart artery might also attract such description at autopsy. :-)
Anyway once I had to go to court for my bail hearing to give evidence in a Crown vs. It Sure Sucks To Be You Blogs case ie. as a prosecution witness. So I dressed nice. A light suit and tie. But I couldn't get the whole shift off as the court was local. So I went to work in my law court suitable attire. I was ribbed* terribly by colleagues as I had "gone consultoid". That was the year I grew my beard because :
- At 26 years old I looked too young to be a doctor. One patient actually stated to the ward's charge nurse that I really asked alot of questions during my work experience time, and that I ought go to university and do medicine. A single instance of this you could put down to someone's dementia, as I politely did, but the entire nursing staff weren't going to buy that ! For several months they would look kindly at me and ask if I needed help with anything eg. writing with a grownup's pen on ruled paper.
- I became lazy/efficient at a time when you could not buy sleep with any currency. Ten minutes shaving = ten minutes not sleeping.
* also sternumed, pedicled, clavicled and vertebraed.
( edit ) A good relationship with nursing staff is great for one's career though. They may share with you valuable insights, such as how to :
- not kill people. Side bonus : no conversations with the hospital's Chief Pathologist**.
- gently clean a dirty wound.
- bandage wounds vs create tangled balls of linen.
- apply plaster of Paris for clinical effectiveness vs vaguely structured white mud pies.
- Clean Up After Yourself or no-one makes you coffee. EVER.
- put an intravenous line in a vein ( compared with an intravenous line in an artery ).
- keep the stabby-stabby and tube counts down.
- have a nice bedside manner. This includes actually visiting your assigned patients frequently in order to have factual knowledge of them. A smile is always a good thing, except if it's from tetanus.
** Who easily makes the State Coroner look carefree, cheerful & irresponsible. Alas has the burden of explaining to the Coroner, the family, the hospital board of management, The Medical Board, everybody's lawyers, the It Simultaneously Sucks & Blows If You're Mentioned On This TV News Channel, the Daily QuasiTruth newspaper etc ...... how Intern Bloggs [ Bachelor of Medicine., Bachelor Of Surgery., Diploma of Idiocacy., Advanced Certificate In Cock-Ups., Top Gun call sign : 'FatalFlaw' ] killed harmless dear old Ethel, a war widow who used to knit warm woolly clothing for abandoned dogs at The Rescue Kennels. Epic job.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...
... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal
So, all those Doctor in the House films were all true then?? Plus some of the "Carry On" ones!
hospital's Chief Pathologist**
Nah, my old Headmaster's Secretary would make him look like Mr Happy. That woman used to stalk the school corridors like the predator in Alien but more ugly. Kids and staff alike used to disappear into the nearest classroom or cupboard, at the very sound of the ominous clomp clomp echoing down upon them. Being given a rollicking by the the headmaster was much preferrable to being on the carpet in front of her. Of course with hindsight, she was really nothing more than administrative assistance, so how she had a role in discipline I don't know.
The HM was a kindly old soul, and I think he was happy to delegate some of the more distasteful parts of the job down the line. These days of course she'd be called out and likely her feet wouldn't touch, but those were the days of the late 50's, when you simply didn't challenge what was perceived as absolute authority.
put an intravenous line in a vein ( compared with an intravenous line in an artery )
Shouldn't that be an intraartery line?
Anyhow, enjoyed the post Mike :-)
Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)
Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now
What will the Secret Service
What will the Secret Service say when they want Trump to get down?
Donald, Duck!!!!!!!!!
Kathryn :o)
Einstein@Home Moderator
Why doesn't Melania Trump
boom boom
Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)
Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now
Less posh and extravagant
Less posh and extravagant too!
Chris S_2 wrote:Why doesn't
When Trump was shown around
When Trump was shown around Airforce one he said, that will just about do for me and my staff, but we'll need a second one for Melania and her wardrobe.
Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)
Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now
A small boy swallowed some
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
Y'all are awesome!
Y'all are awesome!
Kathryn :o)
Einstein@Home Moderator
However amusing, the veracity
However amusing, the veracity of the punk story is a little suspect, Sir. It may have been a fractured femur, and an inscribed cast
One submitted by a Dr.Susan Steinberg of Manitoba, Canada (edited for ease of reading)
Handcuffed to a briefcase, and wearing an airliner.
You can always tell which
You can always tell which doctors use dictation software. From my desk this week : "hypertrophic calf disease" was the comment on a certain cardiac investigation. As for me, I just make the usual digitally unassisted errors. I don't need a computer to help me do that ..... :-)
What next : fat lamb syndrome ? "Yes Mr Smith, you have been eating too many fat lambs. The FLSI* on your blood test says so. Try to cut down if you can. Keep the gravy load under one litre a day for that matter. Now let's look down your throat. Open wide please. Good. Say Baa ...."
Cheers, Mike.
* Fat Lamb Serum Index
( edit ) When I transitioned from medical student to junior resident hospital doctor in the mid 80's there were 'consultoids'. Those being JRMO's who dressed and acted like consultants. They talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk. Generally about two to four years post-grad. Often they would discuss what non-consultoids labelled as 'serum rhubarb' and 'urinary cardboard' ie. some arcane lab tests of doubtful clinical relevance/assistance. Years later I learned that our supervising consultants would, during their assessment of the lower pyramid staff to be reported back to the lawful licencing authority, divide us into 'workers' and 'w*nkers'. Fortunately I was placed in the first category and noted as 'clinically very solid and secure'. Which sounds like faint praise indeed, until you discover that a blood clot in any major heart artery might also attract such description at autopsy. :-)
Anyway once I had to go to court
for my bail hearingto give evidence in a Crown vs.It Sure Sucks To Be YouBlogs case ie. as a prosecution witness. So I dressed nice. A light suit and tie. But I couldn't get the whole shift off as the court was local. So I went to work in my law court suitable attire. I was ribbed* terribly by colleagues as I had "gone consultoid". That was the year I grew my beard because :- At 26 years old I looked too young to be a doctor. One patient actually stated to the ward's charge nurse that I really asked alot of questions during my work experience time, and that I ought go to university and do medicine. A single instance of this you could put down to someone's dementia, as I politely did, but the entire nursing staff weren't going to buy that ! For several months they would look kindly at me and ask if I needed help with anything eg. writing with a grownup's pen on ruled paper.
- I became lazy/efficient at a time when you could not buy sleep with any currency. Ten minutes shaving = ten minutes not sleeping.
* also sternumed, pedicled, clavicled and vertebraed.
( edit ) A good relationship with nursing staff is great for one's career though. They may share with you valuable insights, such as how to :
- not kill people. Side bonus : no conversations with the hospital's Chief Pathologist**.
- gently clean a dirty wound.
- bandage wounds vs create tangled balls of linen.
- apply plaster of Paris for clinical effectiveness vs vaguely structured white mud pies.
- Clean Up After Yourself or no-one makes you coffee. EVER.
- put an intravenous line in a vein ( compared with an intravenous line in an artery ).
- keep the stabby-stabby and tube counts down.
- have a nice bedside manner. This includes actually visiting your assigned patients frequently in order to have factual knowledge of them. A smile is always a good thing, except if it's from tetanus.
** Who easily makes the State Coroner look carefree, cheerful & irresponsible. Alas has the burden of explaining to the Coroner, the family, the hospital board of management, The Medical Board, everybody's lawyers, the It Simultaneously Sucks & Blows If You're Mentioned On This TV News Channel, the Daily QuasiTruth newspaper etc ...... how Intern Bloggs [ Bachelor of Medicine., Bachelor Of Surgery., Diploma of Idiocacy., Advanced Certificate In Cock-Ups., Top Gun call sign : 'FatalFlaw' ] killed harmless dear old Ethel, a war widow who used to knit warm woolly clothing for abandoned dogs at The Rescue Kennels. Epic job.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...
... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal
So, all those Doctor in the
So, all those Doctor in the House films were all true then?? Plus some of the "Carry On" ones!
Nah, my old Headmaster's Secretary would make him look like Mr Happy. That woman used to stalk the school corridors like the predator in Alien but more ugly. Kids and staff alike used to disappear into the nearest classroom or cupboard, at the very sound of the ominous clomp clomp echoing down upon them. Being given a rollicking by the the headmaster was much preferrable to being on the carpet in front of her. Of course with hindsight, she was really nothing more than administrative assistance, so how she had a role in discipline I don't know.
The HM was a kindly old soul, and I think he was happy to delegate some of the more distasteful parts of the job down the line. These days of course she'd be called out and likely her feet wouldn't touch, but those were the days of the late 50's, when you simply didn't challenge what was perceived as absolute authority.
Shouldn't that be an intraartery line?
Anyhow, enjoyed the post Mike :-)
Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)
Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now