TLPTP - Make us laugh edition

David S
David S
Joined: 6 Dec 05
Posts: 2473
Credit: 22936222
RAC: 0

mikey wrote:"Naperville"

mikey wrote:
"Naperville" isn't that the one that has the Police Department on tv showing all the women you know have and the jobs they are doing? Of course when they talk to some of the women they say they have been there long enough to retire, so intimating they have a bunch of 'newly hired women' is a bit misleading.

They produced one season of Female Forces in Naperville, nine years ago now I believe. The city council declined to allow another season.

Dr. Mike wrote:
We had a professor who would never give anyone 100% - even if no errors had been made. He would reckon you'd spelled your own name wrong if it came to that.

My fifth grade math/science/social studies teacher, more than half way through the school year, looked at my name as I'd written on a paper and said "Is that how you spell your name?" Presumably, he had in mind Streator, the name of a town ~50 miles from here and named for a distant relative of mine (who may or may not have ever gone there). If I remember correctly, you go back from me 8 generations, then down a different line 4 to get to him. His grandfather had changed the spelling to avoid association with his father and brothers, who were Universalist preachers.

David

Miserable old git
Patiently waiting for the asteroid with my name on it.

Winterknight
Winterknight
Joined: 4 Jun 05
Posts: 1452
Credit: 377014818
RAC: 144246

Mike Hewson wrote:We had a

Mike Hewson wrote:

We had a professor who would never give anyone 100% - even if no errors had been made. He would reckon you'd spelled your own name wrong if it came to that.

Cheers, Mike.

I had an electronics design instructor, who would give zero marks for an answer, that involved the drawing/sketch of a electronics circuit that wouldn't work. He also read out the results, my marks, for one test, were read out first, I got 53%, the pass mark was 50%, as I sat in shock, wondering how I had done so badly, I didn't realise that it was the top mark. The second was in the mid thirties.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6590
Credit: 318991583
RAC: 413015

This morning I saw a sign on

This morning I saw a sign on the side of a bus advertising the bank that I use : "Get the ultimate money transfer experience with us !" It showed a lovely lady with an electric smile clearly enjoying the offer. Perhaps I'm missing something in "the relationship" I have with "my bank". 

So I went online to their site. I found the bit the ad referred to. Something about a mobile phone app. Nowhere did they mention simply transferring money to my account without any later need to redress the transaction. Weird huh ? :-))))

Cheers, mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

As my bank Manager said to me

As my bank Manager said to me once many years ago as a young lad, when I was called in for exceeding my overdraft limit, "Mr S, the system is that you are supposed to bank with us, not the other way round!". He also pointed out at the time that if you have an overdraft, you are effectively spending others peoples money.

That was at the time when banks thought that they did you a big favour by awarding you an account in the first place. Years later they woke up to the fact that account holders were customers, the very word "customers" sending a shudder throughout the whole banking industry. Indeed ageing bank directors were needing double brandies just to attend 10am board meetings.

At about that time I had another contretemps with an Assistant Manager at the same bank, regarding a similar occurrence, and I reminded him that not only did I pay fees for my overdaraft, they were also charging me handsomely for any transaction over that limit. In effect they were making a lot of money out of me, a paying customer. We agreed to disagree and I changed banks.

Banks are a necessary evil in my view, it was better when we had a raft of Building Societies to put your money into, they were gentlemen to deal with. But the big banks quickly realised what they were missing out on and simply took the lot over. Even now some UK banks are foreign owned e.g. HSBC.

The tack to take with banks is that they are not a social institution doing you any particular personal favours, they are simply running a business to make a profit for shareholders. If they prevaricate, take your business elsewhere.

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

JumpinJohnny
JumpinJohnny
Joined: 4 Apr 13
Posts: 138
Credit: 680279
RAC: 0

A bank is a place that will

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

Very true, but there are some

Very true, but there are some advantages to the very rich.

If you have a minimum of £100,000 in liquid cash, and have a suitable referee, you might get a Coutts bank account. That is the one that the Queen banks with. Present a Coutts cheque anywhere in the world and that is the same as cash, and says a lot about you.

Be overdrawn £10 at Nat West and you are the lowest of the low. But paradoxically Nat West owns Coutts under the RBS banner.

Double standards??

 

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

KSMarksPsych
KSMarksPsych
Moderator
Joined: 15 Oct 05
Posts: 2702
Credit: 4090227
RAC: 0

What does the Secret Service

What does the Secret Service say when they want the President to get out of the way.

 

Donald Duck!

Kathryn :o)

Einstein@Home Moderator

Phil-Pi
Phil-Pi
Joined: 7 Jan 17
Posts: 32
Credit: 867513
RAC: 0

A man hasn't been feeling

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6590
Credit: 318991583
RAC: 413015

There is the old saw :"If

There is the old saw :

"If you owe the bank $100 that is your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million then that's their problem."

I don't have relationships with banks. Never had. Instead I make business decisions about them, and perhaps I enter into a contract with them. Some decades ago I did have a young bank clerk say that I needed to stump up a 'loan application fee' ie. pay them to think about it further. I said nope. He said I'd have to go elsewhere otherwise. I thanked him for his time. Hence :

Don't go & get angry/upset. Just go.

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
Posts: 2469
Credit: 19550265
RAC: 0

Don't go & get angry/upset.

Don't go & get angry/upset. Just go.

But then you see Mike, they don't know why they have lost a customer, and so have no incentive to change. Surely the better way is to write an official complaint to the branch manager with a copy to head office, THEN walk out and change banks. In my experience loan application fees are normally added to the loan if successful.

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.