Humor

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 1,696
Credit: 101,470,730
RAC: 6,846

The lady at the checkout said

The lady at the checkout said "strip down, facing me".
By the time I'd realised she was talking about my debit card, it was too late.

Richard

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 6,279
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

I was addicted to the Hokey

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 6,279
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

Kids may be deductible, but

Kids may be deductible, but they're still taxing.

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6,569
Credit: 294,008,245
RAC: 73,928

Reminds me of a guy I met who

Reminds me of a guy I met who had a Beechcraft Bonanza aircraft. I said that he must be rich to own one of them, but no, he said he used to be rich and now he owns a Bonanza.

It is the same thing with yachts. They are defined as : "a hole in the water lined with fibreglass, into which you throw money" ....

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) For that matter, video cards come to mind : "a slab of silicon lined with fans, at which you throw money".

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Harri Liljeroos
Harri Liljeroos
Joined: 10 Dec 05
Posts: 3,957
Credit: 3,002,185,033
RAC: 603,355

Sailing yacht simulator =

Sailing yacht simulator = stand in a cold shower and tear up 100 dollar bank notes.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6,569
Credit: 294,008,245
RAC: 73,928

Yeah, and to be current, it

Yeah, and to be current, it is a hole in the water lined with carbon fibre composite ......

A mate of mine spent a fortune on one & only the next day the main mast was wrecked in a storm at the berth. He didn't even get to sail it. I told him it was because God hates him, and he nodded. Lesson : if you've got the money for one then just give it away. It's quicker and you will make more friends.

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 6,279
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

The man that invented the

The man that invented the Ferris Wheel never met the man that invented the Merry-go-round.

They traveled in different circles.

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Jinkei
Jinkei
Joined: 28 Aug 10
Posts: 348
Credit: 236,387,048
RAC: 582,248

A man is on holiday in Spain

A man is on holiday in Spain and, one night, sits down at a local restaurant. He asks the waiter to bring him the best dish which turns out to be some kind of meatballs. They're really good and he asks what's in them. 'Ah, it's a local specialty, they are the bull's testicles, sir. From today's bull fighting even, so very fresh!' the waiter informs him proudly. The man is not sure how he feels about this, but he has to admit that it was a very good dish. So, when he is about to go home a week later, he decides to return for a last dinner. The dish is still as good as he remembers, but this time the meatballs are quite a bit smaller. He asks the waiter about this who responds: 'Ah, but this depends on how the fight goes, sir. Most times the Matador wins but this time, the bull won.'

E pluribus unum

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 6,279
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

When I see ads on TV with

When I see ads on TV with happy smiling housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 6,060
Credit: 8,193,772,696
RAC: 6,444,369

RandyC wrote: When I see ads

RandyC wrote:

When I see ads on TV with happy smiling housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

Self medicated?  

 

Scotch and Soda?  Jigger of Gin? Of what a state they have got me (her) in.......

A Proud member of the O.F.A.  (Old Farts Association).  Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.® (Garrison Keillor)

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