Humor Including Jokes, Puns, Shaggy dog stories etc.

mikey
mikey
Joined: 22 Jan 05
Posts: 8,787
Credit: 924,652,501
RAC: 3,292,470

A one humped camel married a

A one humped camel married a two humped camel and they had a baby that had no humps. What did they name the child?

Humphrey.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,433
Credit: 4,092,771,669
RAC: 8,903,041

I asked and you delivered...

I asked and you delivered...

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 873
Credit: 95,959,762
RAC: 5,133

I bought one of those smart

I bought one of those smart light switches, but it was too clever for me...

So I replaced it with a dimmer switch.

Richard

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 4,351
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

Nihilist jokeA teenage boy is

Nihilist joke

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers

 

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job don

 

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.

 

 

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6,360
Credit: 186,529,492
RAC: 601,395

LOL. I think therefore I'm

LOL. I think therefore I'm not.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 873
Credit: 95,959,762
RAC: 5,133

Missing someone is a terrible

Missing someone is a terrible feeling.


Just ask any sniper

Richard

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 4,351
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

Kavanagh wrote: Missing

Kavanagh wrote:

Missing someone is a terrible feeling.


Just ask any sniper

Yeah, might be cause for termination

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,433
Credit: 4,092,771,669
RAC: 8,903,041

RandyC wrote: Kavanagh

RandyC wrote:

Kavanagh wrote:

Missing someone is a terrible feeling.


Just ask any sniper

Yeah, might be cause for termination

Groan!!!

Please don't start on "Dead baby jokes" or anything funny about meat hooks!!!!  :)

Tom M

 

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 873
Credit: 95,959,762
RAC: 5,133

Doctor:  just try to avoid

Doctor:  just try to avoid eating anything fatty.

Patient: What like sausage and chips?

Doctor: No fatty. Just try to avoid eating anything.

Richard

Harri Liljeroos
Harri Liljeroos
Joined: 10 Dec 05
Posts: 1,918
Credit: 1,947,975,845
RAC: 2,113,449

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