Humor Including Jokes, Puns, Shaggy dog stories etc.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,225
Credit: 2,383,304,419
RAC: 5,832,051

This from a Riddles, Riddles,

This from a Riddles, Riddles, Riddles book by Joesph Lemming.

 

 

Who was the most popular Actor in the Bible?

 

 

 

 

Samson.

 

He brought the house down.

People before Prophets (or Profits as the case may be...)

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,225
Credit: 2,383,304,419
RAC: 5,832,051

Tom M wrote: This from a

Tom M wrote:

This from a Riddles, Riddles, Riddles book by Joesph Lemming.

Why is the inside of everything so mysterious?

 

 

 

 

 

Because we can't make it out.

People before Prophets (or Profits as the case may be...)

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 639
Credit: 94,850,738
RAC: 6,364

Just came across this, and

Just came across this, and thought you lot would like it:
An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Richard

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 3,832
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

Did you hear the one about

Did you hear the one about the overworked muffler?

It was exhausted!

<Ba-da-boom!>

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 3,832
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

Two peanuts were walking down

Two peanuts were walking down the street in the big city. One was assaulted. <A salted... peanut>

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 639
Credit: 94,850,738
RAC: 6,364

I just found out that Albert

I just found out that Albert Einstein really existed!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Richard

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,225
Credit: 2,383,304,419
RAC: 5,832,051

Kavanagh wrote: I just found

Kavanagh wrote:

I just found out that Albert Einstein really existed!

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Groan!

 

People before Prophets (or Profits as the case may be...)

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,225
Credit: 2,383,304,419
RAC: 5,832,051

Two oldsters were discussing

Two oldsters were discussing their love lives.

The first said: "How often do you make love?"

The second said "Twice".

The first got an I am amazed look on his face.

 

 

 

The second said "Yup.  Once in the Spring and once in the Fall."

 

People before Prophets (or Profits as the case may be...)

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,225
Credit: 2,383,304,419
RAC: 5,832,051

RandyC wrote: Two peanuts

RandyC wrote:

Two peanuts were walking down the street in the big city. One was assaulted. <A salted... peanut>

Flinch!

 

People before Prophets (or Profits as the case may be...)

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,225
Credit: 2,383,304,419
RAC: 5,832,051

RandyC wrote: Did you hear

RandyC wrote:

Did you hear the one about the overworked muffler?

It was exhausted!

<Ba-da-boom!>

With the drum shot that sounds like it could have been on the Late show....  :)

Lovely pun.

People before Prophets (or Profits as the case may be...)

 

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