Humor Including Jokes, Puns, Shaggy dog stories etc.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,428
Credit: 4,083,356,264
RAC: 8,777,935

Draw bridges are not all

Draw bridges are not all their "cracked" up to be.

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,428
Credit: 4,083,356,264
RAC: 8,777,935

What do you call an elephant

What do you call an elephant who has turned carnivores?

 

 

 

 

The Raptor who never forgets?

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,428
Credit: 4,083,356,264
RAC: 8,777,935

What do you call someone who

What do you call someone who was drinking heavily on Wednesday the next day?

 

 

Thirsty (Thursday)

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 871
Credit: 95,955,604
RAC: 5,416

Police recruiters have

Police recruiters have reduced the IQ level required for candidates wishing to join the service.

The plod thickens.

Richard

petri33
petri33
Joined: 4 Mar 20
Posts: 104
Credit: 2,833,128,686
RAC: 234,065

I'm a tired space man. I

I'm a tired space man.

I need a steroid belt.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,428
Credit: 4,083,356,264
RAC: 8,777,935

Happy "Sun-day".   It's

Happy "Sun-day".

 

It's raining...

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

earthbilly
earthbilly
Joined: 4 Apr 18
Posts: 59
Credit: 1,140,229,967
RAC: 0

Kavanagh wrote: My wife just

Kavanagh wrote:

My wife just asked me, "Does this dress make me look fat?”

I realise now that "No, it's not the dress" was the wrong answer.

 

When your wife is mowing the lawn, that’s not the best time to ask when dinner will be ready.

Follow me for more marriage tips!

Is always introducing my wife as my better 2/3rds a fat joke or an intellectual joke?

Work runs fine on Bosons reacted into Fermions,

Sunny regards,

earthbilly

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,428
Credit: 4,083,356,264
RAC: 8,777,935

earthbilly wrote: Kavanagh

earthbilly wrote:

Kavanagh wrote:

My wife just asked me, "Does this dress make me look fat?”

I realise now that "No, it's not the dress" was the wrong answer.

 

When your wife is mowing the lawn, that’s not the best time to ask when dinner will be ready.

Follow me for more marriage tips!

Is always introducing my wife as my better 2/3rds a fat joke or an intellectual joke?

Yes ;)

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

earthbilly
earthbilly
Joined: 4 Apr 18
Posts: 59
Credit: 1,140,229,967
RAC: 0

I don't understand why my

I don't understand why my better 2/3rds always gets mad when I tell people her Native American name. She loves dogs and can't be without at least 8 at a time. Her name is 'Dog Woman'. Why does she get mad at that?

Work runs fine on Bosons reacted into Fermions,

Sunny regards,

earthbilly

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 4,347
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

A man comes to the circus big

A man comes to the circus big top, walks up to the ringmaster and asks if he can join the circus with his act. The ringmaster tells him to show what he can do.

The man walks to the center pole of the tent and climbs all the way to the top. He then jumps off and starts flapping his arms furiously. He proceeds to fly around the big top doing barrel rolls, spirals, loop-de-loops and dive-bombing the bleachers.

Finally he comes to a soft landing in front of the ringmaster and says "Well, what do you think?"

The ringmaster replies, "Sorry, can't use you. We already have someone that does bird imitations."

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

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