Humor Including Jokes, Puns, Shaggy dog stories etc.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,663
Credit: 4,400,634,878
RAC: 6,801,666

Persist.   It's the

Persist.

 

It's the only way to go.

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,663
Credit: 4,400,634,878
RAC: 6,801,666

Is a home remedy for corns on

Is a home remedy for corns on your feet?

To heat them up till they Pop?

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,663
Credit: 4,400,634,878
RAC: 6,801,666

A Leader can be wrong but

A Leader can be wrong but never uncertain.

 

A Consultant can say "on the other hand".

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,663
Credit: 4,400,634,878
RAC: 6,801,666

Perhaps the original shaggy

Perhaps the original shaggy dog story goes something like this?

A shaggy dog goes into a pet grooming place to get her hair cut for the summer.

 

 

That's the long and short of it.... 

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 920
Credit: 96,203,005
RAC: 5,292

A father passing by his son's

A father passing by his son's bedroom, noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Josh.

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home…

Richard

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,663
Credit: 4,400,634,878
RAC: 6,801,666

Wow.

Wow.

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 4,443
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

An old man crashed his car

An old man crashed his car into a very expensive automobile. The owner of the expensive automobile jumps out and confronts the old man and says "Give me $10,000 cash or I will beat you to a pulp!"

 

The old man replies, "Woah wait buddy, I don't have that much money but let me call my son, he trains dolphins."

 

The old man dials his son as he is about to speak the owner of the expensive car yanks the phone out of his hand and says "So you train dolphins, well your old man just hit and damaged my car, you bring me $10,000 or I'm gonna beat the heck outta him and you!" The son answers "Okay, give me 15 minutes and I'll be there." In exactly 15 minutes the son pulls up in a Hummer, Ten men jump out and beat the heck out of the expensive car owner. Meanwhile the son walks over to his father and says "Dad I train Navy Seals not dolphins"

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,663
Credit: 4,400,634,878
RAC: 6,801,666

Ah.  So we get one good,

Ah.  So we get one good, guaranteed story a month....   Still a great story.

Tom M

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Jinkei
Jinkei
Joined: 28 Aug 10
Posts: 194
Credit: 41,070,939
RAC: 138,673

Thats a great one hehe

Thats a great one hehe

E pluribus unum...

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 4,443
Credit: 111,139,797
RAC: 0

Never attempt to teach a pig

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Robert A. Heinlein 

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

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