Humor Including Jokes, Puns, Shaggy dog stories etc.

Gary Charpentier
Gary Charpentier
Joined: 13 Jun 06
Posts: 1,347
Credit: 65,647,709
RAC: 36,925

Tom M wrote: Oh dear. Either

Tom M wrote:

Oh dear. Either a zombie joke or a raising the dead joke.

Either way it is "awfully" funny.

Tom M

Bit late for Easter.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6,219
Credit: 137,321,739
RAC: 32,977

When a man opens a car door

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Vale Phillip 

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. Blaise Pascal

petri33
petri33
Joined: 4 Mar 20
Posts: 69
Credit: 1,330,193,273
RAC: 6,625,312

Kavanagh wrote: A very sad

Kavanagh wrote:

A very sad day today.
After seven years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion.
He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession.
What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

 

My friends met their cows a lot before they married their lambs that gave birth to their ...

(This is an inappropriate wording - no harm was done to the animals during the writing of this.)

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,150
Credit: 2,147,301,556
RAC: 4,556,061

Fuzzy Was-he was a

Fuzzy Was-he was a bear.

Fuzzy Was-he had no hair.

Fuzzy wasn't very fuzzy. Was-he?

 

As a self-interested person, I aspire to be a Humane.
In detail, I am a BIG Picture person.

 

 

 

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,150
Credit: 2,147,301,556
RAC: 4,556,061

From a bumper sticker on a

From a bumper sticker on a smaller Mecedes Benz in a hotel parking lot.

"I owe. I owe. It's off to work I go..."

As a self-interested person, I aspire to be a Humane.
In detail, I am a BIG Picture person.

 

 

 

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 585
Credit: 94,566,608
RAC: 6,841

There was an old man from

There was an old man from Hyde
who fell in the cludgy and died.
He had a brother
who fell in another.
And now they're interred side by side.

 

p.s. A cludgy is what Mike Hewson would call a dunny. Without funnel web spiders.

Richard

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 585
Credit: 94,566,608
RAC: 6,841

A bloke is having a check up

A bloke is having a check up at the doctors.

"Do you think I will have a long and healthy life?"

"I doubt it," says the doctor, shaking his head. "Mercury is in Uranus right now."

"I don't believe in that astrology crap, doc."

"Neither do I. My thermometer just broke!"

Richard

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,150
Credit: 2,147,301,556
RAC: 4,556,061

Do you think that was a good

Do you think that was a good yoke?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nah, I think it was scrambled.....

As a self-interested person, I aspire to be a Humane.
In detail, I am a BIG Picture person.

 

 

 

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,150
Credit: 2,147,301,556
RAC: 4,556,061

Did you hear about that show

Did you hear about that show "Saturday Night Live"?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was taped.

As a self-interested person, I aspire to be a Humane.
In detail, I am a BIG Picture person.

 

 

 

 

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 1,150
Credit: 2,147,301,556
RAC: 4,556,061

I wonder if an SOP is

I wonder if an SOP is granular...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does that mean it is picky, picky, picky???

As a self-interested person, I aspire to be a Humane.
In detail, I am a BIG Picture person.

 

 

 

 

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