Humor Including Jokes, Puns, Shaggy dog stories etc.

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
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Topic 224984

An old favorite of mine that I first read on the page before the text of a Robert Heinlein Juvenile novel began.

"There once was a lady named Bright.

Who could travel faster than light.

She left one day in a Relative way.

And came home the preceding night!"

 

Enjoy.  And have a beer :)

Tom Miller

 

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

HAL
HAL
Joined: 9 Mar 20
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I keep wanting to try that

I keep wanting to try that Prevagen memory support drug I see on TV, but I can't ever remember to buy it ...

Processing work units with "outdated" (according to Microsoft) Ryzen 7 1700

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,429
Credit: 4,083,914,254
RAC: 8,783,305

HAL wrote: I keep wanting to

HAL wrote:

I keep wanting to try that Prevagen memory support drug I see on TV, but I can't ever remember to buy it ...

I was going to comment on this post but I forget what I was going to say...

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

HAL
HAL
Joined: 9 Mar 20
Posts: 987
Credit: 17,895,964
RAC: 21,297

I was thinking you were just

I was thinking you were just procrastinating. I wanted to tell you, but I just kept putting it off...

Processing work units with "outdated" (according to Microsoft) Ryzen 7 1700

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 871
Credit: 95,956,297
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My wife just asked me, "Does

My wife just asked me, "Does this dress make me look fat?”

I realise now that "No, it's not the dress" was the wrong answer.

 

When your wife is mowing the lawn, that’s not the best time to ask when dinner will be ready.

Follow me for more marriage tips!

Richard

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,429
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I owe, I owe, its off the

I owe, I owe, its off the work I go...  (a bumper sticker on a Mercedes Benz).  And possibly apologies to Walt Disney.

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

mikey
mikey
Joined: 22 Jan 05
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Tom M wrote: I owe, I owe,

Tom M wrote:

I owe, I owe, its off the work I go...  (a bumper sticker on a Mercedes Benz).  And possibly apologies to Walt Disney. 

The lesser Benz's that less true today that it used to be, sure you can still spend north of $50k for a GLC-300 and the GLK's are north of $76k to start but the truth is you don't have to spend that much anymore and the smaller GLA and GLB models are just as luxurious and alot more affordable

Tom M
Tom M
Joined: 2 Feb 06
Posts: 2,429
Credit: 4,083,914,254
RAC: 8,783,305

Would a sheep dog with their

Would a sheep dog with their winter coat on qualify as a Shaggy Dog story?

Live long and Prosper.

A proud member of the O.F.A. (Old Farts Association)

It ain't the heat it's the humility. - Yogi Berra

 

Kavanagh
Kavanagh
Joined: 29 Oct 06
Posts: 871
Credit: 95,956,297
RAC: 5,256

I yelled “COW!” at the woman

I yelled “COW!” at the woman on the bike. She gave me the finger; just before she ploughed straight into the cow.
I tried...

Richard

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
Moderator
Joined: 1 Dec 05
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There should be no punishment

There should be no punishment when no pun is meant ??

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

RandyC
RandyC
Joined: 18 Jan 05
Posts: 4,348
Credit: 111,139,797
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Close enough, for government

Close enough, for government work. 

 

Sadly, at one time that phrase was a compliment before the comma was added.

Seti Classic Final Total: 11446 WU.

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